accountability

I had chorus rehearsal tonight. We're a month away from the performance. Suddenly I had this picture of myself standing on the stage, the theater packed, including a bunch of friends of mine looking right at me. And I realized I really have to know this stuff. Not only do I have to have every piece of music memorized, but more visibly, I have to have every movement of what they call the "choralography" down, because they can see me! If I move when I'm not supposed to, or don't move, or point the wrong way, everyone will know.

With that realization singing in the chorus turned from, "Isn't this a fun way to spend a Monday evening," to "I've got to get serious." I've got to sit at the pinao and find the notes, and practice the releases, and really learn the words, and print out the list of movements that go with the songs and work on them at home.

Being accountable sharpens our focus, and motivates our work. Being accountable means that someone other than me will have a better or worse experience based on what I do. In this case both my fellow chorus members, and the audience coming to the performance.

There's a reason that most spiritual paths emphasize the importance of the community. On our own our spirituality can become too relaxed, lazy. We can become too willing to accept the half measures we're willing to put in. No one is holding us to our best selves. No one else suffers if we don't move forward. No one calls us on our not completely thought out beliefs. The Sangha, the community, is one of the three "refuges" in Buddhism. But it's a refuge where we go both for support when that's what we need, and for a compassionate kick, when we're too much enjoying the rehearsal and the performace is only a month away.