manly spirituality

the current issue of Christian Century Magazine prints an article by Lillian Daniel called "Missing Men." Why don't more men go to church? Why are churches two thirds or more filled with women, while the husbands stay home or wait in the car? I preached about the theological reasons for this in a sermon for Father's Day two years ago, but there are other reasons as well.

It's not a new phenomenon. The feminization of Christianity was noticed, and lamented, back in the 19th century. Although men still predominate in positions of authority (a few male officers serving a women's club) that, too, is changing as more denominations now ordain women. The majority of ministers in my denomination, Unitarian Univesalism, are now women.

The article answers the question by saying that the central issues of religion, and the format of standard worship, speak to women and not to men. Religion in churches is about caring and concern and holding the family together in safety, while men want adventure and excitement. Men want to be individuals rushing out to defeat the enemey, not holding hands back at the church home.

But spirituality does have two sides. One is the nuturing, safe, hand-holding side. And we need that, men and women. And men would do well to open up their nurturing side. But there is also the side of the spiritual journey that is the quest. It's called a journey after all. It's about exploring, asking questions, seeking answers. Religious practice can be rigorous, even arduous. It takes strength and stamina, both physical and mental. And there's even the "protector saving his family" aspect in the sense of the spiritual leader bringing his flock to salvation by uncovering truths and keeping the followers on track.

The benefit of spirituality is not only comfort, it's also enlightenment. It saddens me that anyone, man or woman might be missing out on either of those.