surgery tomorrow

My follow-up wrist surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. When I had the initial surgery back in May it was only 4 days after the accident. My arm was already in a cast from the procedure they had done in the Emergency Room. It all went by very fast and I was in a bit of a daze from shock and just doing what I had to do. So there wasn't time to be nervous.

This time is different. I've had several days now to think about the surgery. And my hand actually appears to be mostly well. I'm not in a cast or brace of any kind. I have most of my strength and mobility back. I'm typing obviously. And I'm certainly not in shock.

So I'm just looking at my apparently healthy wrist and thinking about the flesh being cut open and all the tendons and muscles exposed, and the blood, and that one piece of bone floating out there that is the point of the surgery. The scar on the inside of my wrist looks even more like a zipper to me now as the surgeon told me he would make the incision in the same place. But all in all my reaction isn't really fear, or disgust, it's just amazement at the fact that a doctor can do this, and relief and optimism that this will really help me get not only well but whole, and I'll finally be able to get back on my bike.